Barry Bonds said yesterday that if his record breaking home run ball goes into Cooperstown with an asterisk branded into it, he will not attend ceremonies to induct him into the Hall (should he be elected).

BRAVO, Barry! I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now I won’t need to hear you pat your own pimpled, steroid filled back for 2 hours.


Perhaps you’re aware that Barry Bonds recently broke Major League Baseball’s all-time Home Run record, once held by slugger great Hank Aaron.

Bonds has been under a lot of fire in recent years over alleged steroid use.

You may also have heard that the record breaking ball, home run #756, was caught by a 21 year old New York native, who promptly sold the ball for almost $750,000 because he could not afford to keep it and pay taxes on it. The ball was sold to fashion designer Marc Ecko, known for his elaborate pranks and sense of humor.

Ecko wanted a statement to be made with this ball, but he felt that the decision should be made by baseball fans. So he set up a poll for voters to select what he would do with the ball. The choices were:

1. Give the ball to the Baseball Hall of Fame
2. Give the ball to the Baseball Hall of Fame with an asterisk branded into it
3. Launch the ball into space.

In a landslide, choice #2 was the winner. Ecko will burn an asterisk into the ball and then send it to the Hall of Fame.

Many people believe historical objects as something to be kept pristine, unblemished. Others might say history is what you make of it.

What are your thoughts? Should the Bonds ball be branded?

Congrats to David Beckham for once again showing us why soccer (or football, or futbol) will never, EVER be a major sport in this country.

After playing only 310 minutes in the first six games (out of a maximum of 540 minutes) of the LA Galaxy’s season, Beckham last night sprained his knee.

He’ll miss the next six weeks.

ESPN told me that he would be the savior of soccer in America…they told me so…snif.

Thank goodness it appears that injuries don’t stop the superstar from hosting and/or attending every posh party in LA with his wife….Posh. 🙂

Frankly, soccer is just boring. They say that some sports are better to attend in person. Hockey, for example. Hockey is horrible to watch on TV but thrilling in person. Just the opposite for me with football. A football game plays much better on the tube for me than in person.

Soccer…well, soccer just sucks period. Here are my complaints with soccer:

1. The field is just too large. It takes the better part of a 45-minute half just to get the ball to midfield.
2. The time limit is not really the time limit. Sure, it’s supposed to be 2 45-minute halves. But at the end of the game, the referee can add as much time as he wants to the clock for “injury time”. Apparently, the clock keeps running whether people are playing or not, not unlike football. Except the difference here is that soccer…uh…keeps the clock running when players get injured and are writhing on the field in real or enacted pain. Then, at the end of the game, the referee thinks back and reminisces about how much time he THINKS was taken off the clock due to injuries on the field. And then, get this, he doesn’t announce to anyone how much time is left. He keeps it on his own freaking POCKETWATCH (pocketwatch?!?!?) until HE thinks the injury time has been repaid. That’s…just…

There are more, but why waste my time on soccer? This is probably the first and last posting here on this sport, and that only to complain how completely boring it is as a spectator sport. Sure, it’s great for the kiddies (and of course the vivacious soccer mommies), but that’s about it.

Beckham, we barely knew ye…

Ya gotta love it when “mainstream” news gets it wrong, WAY wrong. You also have to wonder just how deeply reporters have to dredge the cesspool of news that is on the internet just to come up with a story.

Alex Johnson, poor Alex Johnson. This intrepid MSNBC news reporter thought he had a scoop. A BIG scoop. While investigating the Michael Vick dogfighting story, he came across a website that apparently quoted the Reverend Al Sharpton:

“Consider this: If the police caught Brett Favre running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other to the death, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, commend him on his tightly-spiraled forward passes, then bet on one of his dolphins.”

This quote makes it plain that Sharpton believes Vick to be a “Vick”-tim of racial injustice. So of course Mr. Johnson wrote up a nice little piece and placed it on the ever-accurate (parody) MSNBC website.

There’s just one problem….Al Sharpton never said it.

The “quote” was taken from a parody website called News Groper. Whoops…

MSNBC quickly retracted the story, saying it “had been the victim of a hoax”.

Now, for those of you who are not aware, a “hoax” is something that is intended to deceive or defraud. Like crop circles, like a fake 911 call, like Paris Hilton’s embracing of religion…

News Groper has ‘parody’ and words like Political humor, Celebrity Satire, and Funny Commentary all over it. Not exactly a hoax…more like humor. Kinda like Comedy Central’s cartoon “Little Bush” or every episode of Saturday Night Live.

Just a couple of questions and thoughts here.

First off, I find it amusing and highly arrogant that MSNBC would blame Groper for MSNBC’s mistake. Basically, we got suckered, it’s their fault. I guess they’re using Abe Lincoln’s old adage of “Fool me once, shame on you” a bit too closely.

Secondly, does ANY reporter EVER take anything they read off the internet as gospel? I mean, I didn’t go to the Columbia School of Journalism, but even I have heard of independent verification. For those of you at MSNBC who might be checking out E-Nirv (thanks, first of all) let me explain it to you. Independent verification means once you read or hear something that might be considered newsworthy, that is something you didn’t witness yourself, you verify its authenticity by…oh I don’t know, making a few calls perhaps? In this case, a jingle to Sharpton’s office with a question like “Did Rev. Al really say this?” might be in order. You also might want to actually check out some of the other stories the website was running to see just what kind of site it is, especially if YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM BEFORE!!! If below the Sharpton blurb you see “Oprah believes in the existence of aliens in her breakfast cereal. They tell her Obama wins in ’08!!!”, you just might want to reconsider. Wait, that was a bit extreme. Here are some actual stories from News Groper:

“Flirty Obama cuddles up with pandering Stewart, baby expected next June”
By Hillary Clinton

“Your assignment, should you choose to figure out what the hell it is…”
By Katie Couric

“Bush, hand over your daughter!”
By Vladimir Putin

Hard-hitting news…that’s News Groper.

Finally, is it just me or does it seem that the media constantly seeks to inject race into each and every situation? Johnson, were you so desperate to find a racially charged quote that you plunged willy nilly into the internet quagmire? Shall I suggest a scenario of how it could have gone down? Johnson’s editor says “Find me some quotes that tie this whole Vick thing back to racial prejudice.” So Johnson skips happily back to his desk, thrilled with the notion that he can, once again, prove how evil white people are. So he goes on his trusty MSNBC search engine and types something to the effect of “Michael Vick racial injustice”, and LO and BEHOLD! There it is! And from none other than Mr. Racial Injustice himself! This’ll inject some spice into that ol’ 24 hour news cycle….

From what I’ve heard, dogfighting is popular in the South among blacks AND whites. It’s an equally opportunic dumb thing to do.

***DISCLAIMER*** The pictures, descriptions, and events depicted on E-Nirv are meant for entertainment purposes only, you MSNBC automaton!

In another chapter of “Wow, we really are starting to get old”, Michael Jordan’s
will attend Illinois University next year and will play basketball as a walk-on.

You can read the article from AP by clicking here.

Hank Aarons, baseball’s current all-time homerun king, said recently that he would not be present if and when Barry Bonds breaks his record, presumably some time this season.

You can read Yahoo’s article by clicking here.

In short, Hank says he’d be criticized if he went and criticized if he didn’t go, so he’d just as soon people make up their own minds. While not saying so directly, Aarons seems to be hinting that he wouldn’t be present for anyone who’s “broken” a record while being suspected of using steroids.

Good for him. Finally, someone in baseball taking a stand on this issue! Hank Aarons is as revered as they come in this sport. The man literally went through hell breaking Babe Ruth’s record. For him to be present when pill-popper and/or butt injector Bonds cracks the barrier with his oversized head and HGH filled biceps would tarnish his own image. In a sense, his presence would be an acknowledgement of Bonds’ accomplishment, tantamount to saying it’s ok to do what he’s so obviously done.

If only Commissioner Bud Selig would take the same stance. He’s hinted he’s ‘not sure’ if he’ll be available, but will not say definitively yea or nay.

Thank the baseball gods that Hank Aaron is still a role model.

Hank Aaron - the REAL Home Run King